When you can't run anymore
by Meep meep
Summary: They say life is like a journey. You get on at one stop, you make decisions and you end up at a different stop. From one place to another, a journey based entirely on the small things, things that lead us on our merry.' Mal POV


_Disclaimer: characters are property of Joss Whedon (who, incidentally, I am not)_

_AN: italics are quotes from either firefly or serenity, also not mine_

They say life is like a journey. You get on at one stop, you make decisions and you end up at a different stop. From one place to another, a journey based entirely on the small things, things that lead us on our merry.

Well that's just shiny but I doubt that's the end of it. Because along the way other people get on and impact the speed or direction of the journey. People have an impact on our lives, one we can't change.

They can slow us down or speed us along, make the journey easier or harder. Because that's what people do. They have an impact.

And then there are outside forces – wind beating on the sides of the transport, if you will – who can batter us clean off the tracks or speed us up on our travels. They change things, like direction or the need of repairs, or things blowing in our way. They change the journey.

So it's not just our decision, where we go, is it? It's a combination – I want to get off at port A, but someone else wants port B and the wind's damaged both so we have to pull in at port C. Life leads us along, dragging us about, and we can either go with it and hop on, or we can get ourselves tied to the back end of whatever we're riding on. If the wind blows north you go northerly, because to try and go southerly causes damage and pain. And it impacts someone else's life, changes their direction because you're slowing em down by dragging your heels.

We meddle, we get into people's lives and we change them, we change how they think, what they think, change the land and the air, change their homes and lives. We're meddlesome. We have an impact.

So we lessen the impact by not dragging our heels, by jumping on and praying we go somewhere we can work with. But sometimes our beliefs compromise us, make us try to change people, harden the impact.

_"Well, what about you, Shepherd? How come you're flying about with us brigands? I mean, shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the Fuzzie-Wuzzies or some such?" _

_"Oh, I got heathens aplenty right here." _

_"If I'm your mission, Shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my boat. God ain't." _

We change things we got no right to be changin. We try things it ain't right to be tryin because it makes other people slow down. It makes em unhappy. It barges in and makes things hard.

_"What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?"_

_"That it was manly and impulsive?"_

_"Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was 'don't'."_

But sometimes you have to have an impact on people, because that's the only way to stop em having one on you. You have to say things, do things, to make em trust you or keep em quiet. You have to have an impact because the damage if you didn't would just be too bad. Too hard, too sudden, too dangerous. So it helps to have an impact, sometimes.

_"If anyone gets nosy, just...you know... shoot 'em."_

_"Shoot 'em?"_

_"Politely."_

It helps to have that ability – to stop the questions that need answering, stop the people who need to go someplace. Stop…everything. It helps. By having an impact, we can change people for he better, we can save lives. We can help or hinder them, and they'll never once thank you, but sometimes it can help.

**_"Zoe, ship is yours. Remember: if anything happens to me, if you don't hear from me within the hour, you take the ship -- and you come and you rescue me."_**

** _"What? Risk my ship?"_**

And sometimes, you have a bad impact, to get the job done. But even the bad things help sometimes. It gets us our money, teaches them their lesson and we're off. But like a lot of people have said, I'm just too damn noble. Too noble to kill without reason, or to hurt people I've no business hurtin. But sometimes you can't afford not to, because the alternative just doesn't bear thinking on.

**_"Sir, I don't disagree on any particular point. It's just...in a time of war, we would've never left a man stranded."_**

**_"Maybe that's why we lost."_**

Because no matter what we do, we have an impact. And it'll always be bad for someone. We change lives, lots of lives, thousands of lives, just by being alive. Just by breathing, and moving. Just by our very presence in their little world.

And we fight, we cause bodies to build up, we cause pain and suffering and anguish. We do that, people do that to each other. And they don't even realise. They have no idea of what is right and what is wrong, or of what impact they're having on other people's lives. Because they think they're better than that, they think they have the right to barge in and change people.

_"Seems odd you'd name your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of." _

_"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one." _

We have an impact, and we change lives. We meddle. And that's not always a good thing. But sometimes, you can't help being a little meddlesome…it's just too much fun.

_"Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. Whaddya suppose that makes us?" _

_"Big damn heroes, sir." _

_"Ain't we just!" _

But you always have to remember that one day, someone's gonna have an impact on you…and you'd best pray it ain't one of the bad ones. Because some people only have good impacts, or come to you to help them. To carry them, if you will. To carry them where they need to go, whether they realise it or not. Everyone gets where they're going, some day.

'_When you can't run anymore, you crawl. And when you can't do that…'_

'_You find someone to carry you'_


End file.
